Out of My Head

Yes, I am still alive...

but barely hanging on to my sanity I think. It has been a LONG time since I've posted anything; so much has changed

in October Dr K switched me to a new med, Namenda...as soon as the Lyrica left my system however my Migraines rebounded big time, and I spent the next 6 weeks in a haze of pain. I had truly forgotten how bad they were when not muted by the Lyrica. Needless to say I was put back on Lyrica, with the dosage increased (300 mg bid). I am still taking the Namenda, as it has helped with the side effects from the Lyrica (ie the blurry vision). The attacks are still as often, but they are just an echo of what they could be and the meds I take (Zomig or Migranal) are much more effective.

What a mess I am! 44 and taking a melange of anti-depressant, anti-psychotic, anti-convulsant (or whatever Lyrica is exactly) and to top it off a med to treat Alzheimer's. What fun. Obviously I need them, but I still don't have to like it. Thank God that I was able to get on disability though-as much as I hate feeling like a leech (on both the government and hubby) I have no other way to pay for the $1000 worth of meds I get every month. And no, this really isn't a complaint-I have friends who have much worse going on in their lives; this is just me venting my frustration.

And speaking of frustration. Dear hubby is quitting his job. Yes, you heard right; the job that he really, REALLY liked and was very good at. There are certain problems, which could possibly be worked out but at this point it looks like next Friday will be his last day. Somehow I was not surprised-this has been a pattern of his over the years. We just get going along really well and BOOM! It has been two years since the last job ended (2 months after we closed on our house) We went through a painful bankruptcy and are finally back on our feet, and now this. I love the man, I really do; but there are times I could cheerfully strangle him and I have been keeping that urge in check for some time now. Honestly, it wouldn't be so bad-I want him to have a job he's happy with- but we are commited to certain obligations in 2008 that require traveling and time off from work, plus cash of course. And face it-I liked being able to pay the bills, more or less on time.

I am really hoping I can look back on this in a few months time and wonder why I made such a fuss about it...

if nothing else comes of our lives we made a couple of wonderful kids, so I guess it was worth it

Lynne

hot...

humid and miserable! I am just glad I am on Lyrica; as bad as the migs still are I don't know if I could handle them without it

boy am I looking forward to fall. So are the bunnies, they don't like this heat either !

Still alive and kicking...

believe it or not!

I didn't realize how long it's been since I posted anything until I got a comment notice this morning.

btw, thanks Steven. The trampoline is now a dog bed (silly me thinking that my ankles would handle all that weight jumping up & down) I now have a recumbent exercise bike which I love! It sits in a corner of our living room next to the couch; I can ride & watch TV at the same time and since it's right out in plain sight the guilt factor if I don't use it is pretty high. As for diet- well, the critters still eat better than we do. When we can afford good healthy food I get it, if not it's boxed mac & cheese or $1 cheeseburgers from McD's. And yes, I know, bad for us but paying the mortgage and utilities and keeping a roof over our heads has to come first. I don't know how people can afford to pay for those big, pricey houses when we struggle to pay for our little 107 year old home. Of course most of them probably aren't trying to get by with only one income. Well, one and a 1/4 maybe with my disability check

My migs have been about the same. I haven't been to the doc in quite awhile, we've had to cancel & reschedule so many times for various reasons I don't remember for sure the last time I was there. I did find out why Dr Harrison was no longer there...let's just say I found out thru court records. Still, he was the best doc I've had.

well, I have to start a load of laundry then get out to the bunnies before it gets any warmer. They are doing OK in the heat with the fans & frozen water bottles but I will be glad when fall gets here

best  wishes to all...

Bad Monday

wow- a long time since I've written anything.

I just found out that Dr Harrison who I've been seeing is no longer at the clinic. I am truly devastated as we had a very good doctor/patient relationship and he really listened to me. So tomorrow I will see the other doctor...only because hubby is making me go. I wish the clinic would have put out a letter or something saying he was leaving (or gone) I only found out when called to change my appointment and kinda freaked when the receptionist told me.

Oh well, I will be fine...it's all good

I'm feeling...

a little better today. I've been using my Migranal and it is at least doing a little better job of knocking the migs down. I have a dog to groom this morning but it shouldn't be too bad. I'll have tomorrow to rest up and then we have a show on Saturday. Then we will stop and visit our friends on the way home

One of the members of our church passed away yesterday afternoon. I was able to sit with him awhile beforehand to say my good bye. He was 101 years old, and a very sweet man. It is sad to see him go but knowing he is going on to a better plane of existance is a reason to be joyful as well.

gotta go get busy :)

this is one of those times...

that it is really hard to NOT have a pity-party for myself. After having a stretch with several migraine free days I am once again back in the daily headache mode.  I even had to make two trips to the ER on the same night for what was one of the worst migraines that I had in a long time. And this is AFTER raising my Lyrica!?!? So I don't know what's going on. I got a cortisone shot and a dose pak 2 weeks ago. I suppose it has helped; at least I haven't had to return to the ER. But it is there, a constantly pulsating, hideous beast of a thing that muffled by pain meds and triptans but never goes away completely. And then some bored idiots with nothing better to do vandalized a bunch of cars here in town. Ours too, of course, so I had to use the money that I had put back for a rabbit show to get the window fixed. Couldn't go to the show, so I had to cancel the sale of a rabbit that I was supposed to bring along. There was money lost. And all we had to eat for our Thanksgiving dinner was pancakes. Not that I'm not grateful for pancakes, but it just wasn't "right". The kids both worked that day too.

on a brighter note (although it may not seem like it) the president of the National Lionhead Club (and one of the developers of the breed) came to one of our Nebraska shows so I was able to spend some time learning from the "master"! I asked her to go thru my herd and she spent almost 4 hours going over my rabbits. I had a few gems in the bunch, but there were quite a few she suggested I not use. Really hard to hear what your faults are from another person, even though you agree with them completely. The rabbits were kind of getting out of control for me what with the increase in migs. I can't lose them though...The dogs are a little much for me when it comes right down to it...we only got the two because I was feeling better and wanted to start training again. Needless to say I don't think Bosco even knows his name...

OK, I had better get outside and get the chores finished, I don't think my pain level is going to get any lower than this. I have avoided taking any Zomig so I can use some migranal tonight. Hopefully that will at least calm it down. I am SO tired of this...I wish that I never had any good days-it makes the bad ones so much worse when you can remember NOT feeling in pain (and that was such an odd feeling for me anyway) Now I am just hoping to get thru each day again

Just so you know...

I am still alive. Migraines knocking me around quite a bit but I will survive. Seeing the doc on Tuesday, hopefully he will agree with me that it's time for another round of cortisone. MIL is doing much better, thanks for your prayers

I will try to do better about posting

hugs to you all

No...

I haven't dropped off the face of the earth-between life and computer problems I just haven't been around much. We hooked up an older tower (actually it belongs to our rabbit club) so we could at least have a computer that didn't just randomly shut off during use. And of course most of my good stuff is on the other one so we'll have to try to put as much as we can on cds. And oh yes, when I have money again I am going to get one of those memory sticks. Gale has one and he really saved the day for me by being able to put all my rabbit records on it. All this time I have been faithfully making backups of it onto floppy disks-only to discover that it didn't work when I went to transfer it to this PC. Argh-old technology (and I remember back when floppy disks really WERE floppy!)

Things are going fairly well. I am having fewer headaches and most of them respond to medications. I also think the blurry vision MAY be improving. It's hard to tell, since we are still watching the tiny TV since the big one died-pretty much everything is blurry on that from across the room. Also I have been reading a little more than I was but it is  so very hard to focus on what I'm trying to read.

whatever, it's all good.

There is an old tree about a block from our house where the turkey vultures are roosting every night before they head south-it is so AWESOME to see them-I know, they are ugly to most people, but for me they are magnificent, they soar so effortlessly...and last Sunday on our way to church they were all in the tree with their wings spread, drying off from the rain - now that was really cool!

Happy Birthday Mom!!!!

Just in case I don't get you called later today :)

Well things are a little better. I went in and talked to my primary and she just made me feel a whole lot better about things. She put me on Advair-I think it has helped with the shortness of breath-I at least don't huff and puff as much while I'm trying to do things. And she is very happy for me that the Lyrica is helping my Migraines-she's been with me every step of the way over the last several years. Gale has a sinus infection, so he had to get an Rx for it. Hopefully it will start making him feel better soon. Life doesn't function as well when both of us are crabby.

The dogs passed their vet check-and the doc was really impressed by their temperments. See, I can pick out good dogs-just another skill to add to my resume' ! We also decided that JD aka Yale actually was more of a Max-we'd had a white Boxer named Max for awhile and I don't like to reuse names but he is definately a Max. They were all good in the car for the 40 mile or so round trip-I'm sure we are a sight going down the highway with 3 big dogs in our old station wagon...

ok...

sometimes I just can't look at the bright side of things. I starve myself to lose weight, only to be on a medication that makes me gain weight. I try to start an exercise program and I am so out of shape that I can't even walk around the block. (I did start using the trampoline, BTW) My FAT clothes felt tight this morning, so I didn't leave the house to go to church. I know, I said I wasn't going to worry about it, but I feel like crap. Oh yeah, and I've been fighting a migraine that I think may be getting the better of me today. I have the dogs put away-just can't deal with watching them today. Dogs are like toddlers, gotta keep an eye on them all the time to keep them from getting into things, especially the new ones that don't know the rules yet. gonna go back to bed-tomorrow will be better:)