Out of My Head

head hurts...

but what's new? Actually had most of the day functional...
God is good...

where to begin...

oh yes, did NOT go to the ARBA convention. Did make it thru the holidays and both of the kids' birthdays (my baby is 21!!!) Head has been making me really miserable, not sure why it's gotten worse again but it has.
I decided that I needed to post again. I finally went to a rabbit show last weekend (haven't been to one in probably 6 months or better) and met a gal who started getting migraines a year ago after being very ill. I promised her I would send her some info and links to the support group and of course I started feeling guilty that I haven't been blogging. I'm not very good at keeping my mig diary up either-just don't care anymore I guess.
Tired of trying to be upbeat and cheery
oh well  "this too, shall pass..."

3 AM and still awake...

but only because I finally got done watching "Pinata; Survival Island" and I had to shower just to feel clean again. It is a movie about an evil pinata wreaking havoc on a jungle island amongst college students participating in a panty scavenger hunt. Yes friends, you read that correctly. To be fair, it was a pinata a shaman filled with all the evil of his village and banished years ago, but it was still a pinata.
Why did I watch this, you may ask? Well, it had Nicholas Brendan (Buffy the Vampire Slayer; I always had a soft spot for Xander-he couldn't help it that he wasn't Angel) Jaime Pressley (My Name is Earl, and yes, her voice was just as annoying) and Garret Wang (Star Trek; Voyager)  Yes, good 'ol Harry Kim, who I sorta liked too, especially after the episode where he and Tom Parris were trapped in the giant prison ship.... So, I saw all these people and my curiousity was assuaged but dear hubby wanted to watch the whole movie and trying to be a  good wife I sat & watched it with him. I was even able to control the urge to jab my eyes out with my beading needle...I should get brownie points for that...
have a good weekend!

God Determines Who Walks into your life

I normally don't pass emails on, but this one just touched me

The first sentence is pretty powerful!

God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to 
decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse 
to let go. If you can, pray for me as I will pray for you....

Father, God bless all my family and friends in whatever it is that 
You know they may be needing this day! And may their life be full 
of your peace, prosperity and power as they seek to have a closer 
relationship with you.

Amen.

Now send it on to five other people, including the one who sent it 
to you. Within hours you caused a multitude of people to pray for 
other people. Then sit back and watch the power of God work in 
your life.

P.S. Five is good, but more is better. Who else do you know that 
needs a prayer?

THANKS FOR BEING IN MY LIFE!

Chronic pain...

affects one's outlook on things. It doesn't matter that I am aware that "this too, shall pass" and that
things will work out according to God's plan - pain changes your perspective. Case in point: yesterday was a "Migraine day". It wasn't a pillow over my head begging for the sweet release of death day, just that background suck the joy out of  life one that robs you of any ambition. And to top things off Gale.Actually.Had.The.Day.Off!
Finally a chance to catch up on things around the house and there I sat, on the couch with the Beast hanging over my right temple, digging in it's claws if I tried to move.  I couldn't use a tryptan at that point so opted for my rescue med and it was one of those days that it didn't work. After forcing myself outside to deal with a few rabbit issues (ahhh...bright light, bright light!) I went to bed. And because of this I felt totally worthless,  I wanted to cancel my trip to the ARBA convention that's coming up, return the Kindle I bought as soon as it arrives and several other self-flagelating things (I usually want to get rid of the rabbits too, but that one didn't come up yesterday)
Luckily I am blessed with a husband who understands that this is all just a reaction to the pain. Bless his heart; he's an "enabler" too, buying me cookies I don't need, but I love him all the more for that
Today is better; the house still could be condemned because of the mess but I'm not beating myself up about it-it will either get cleaned some day or not. I am looking forward to the arrival of my Kindle, and hoping that I will like it. As far as the ARBA convention I know I will have a pretty good time, but I also know that travel and crowds of people really affect my head and that is a problem. If hubby were going it would be better, as he is my rock and takes care of things when I can't deal with life. I don't want to mak things miserable for the people I'm going with, since they generously offered to take me along
Oh well, let me get thru today first...

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own

 

Yikes!

Wow-over half a year since my last post. I guess time, like toilet paper, goes faster the closer you get to the end!
Not that I am at the end by any means; at least I hope I have some more time on the planet. It would be nice to figure out WHY I am supposed to be here before it's time to move on.
Anyway, it has been an interesting year. Hubby quit his job so we were without his income for several months. At least we had our tax return & his 401K that we cashed in to live on so we aren't as far behind on things as we could be. Amanda graduated from college and works for an accounting firm in Omaha. She shares an apartment with her best friend from college and seems to be doing well. We are so proud of her. Dan is still working full time and living at home. I am glad to have him around, even though I don't readily admit it to him. Gale did start a new job in May, but has already been suspended once for a week without pay, so I don't know how long it will last. But I am hopeful.
I still have my rabbits, and although I seldom make it to shows anymore I am still working on them. We have a "pond" made out of an old swimming pool (15' diameter" that is home to koi and various other water critters. I am REALLY enjoying that-so relaxing. I've also successfully spawned some bettas-something that I've always wanted to try and am anxiously waiting for the fry to mature. They are about so _ big, so I have a little wait yet to see how they turn out.
My head has been pretty good. Still on Lyrica and Namenda. It seems like I have fewer migs now but boy sometimes when I get a whopper it's a major one-non stop puking and into the ER for fluids kind. I could live without that.  The lethargy and weight gain from the med side effects I could do without too. I am still keeping my fingers crossed for menapause in hopes that going thru it will tame the beast for good. I would like to be able to get some of this weight off and get out more. Oh who am I kidding? I like being safely hidden away at home and not dealing with anybody. Easier that way.
Well, I am going to try to do better at this. I have missed my friends in the migraine community
hugs to all of you
Lynne

Yes, I am still alive...

but barely hanging on to my sanity I think. It has been a LONG time since I've posted anything; so much has changed

in October Dr K switched me to a new med, Namenda...as soon as the Lyrica left my system however my Migraines rebounded big time, and I spent the next 6 weeks in a haze of pain. I had truly forgotten how bad they were when not muted by the Lyrica. Needless to say I was put back on Lyrica, with the dosage increased (300 mg bid). I am still taking the Namenda, as it has helped with the side effects from the Lyrica (ie the blurry vision). The attacks are still as often, but they are just an echo of what they could be and the meds I take (Zomig or Migranal) are much more effective.

What a mess I am! 44 and taking a melange of anti-depressant, anti-psychotic, anti-convulsant (or whatever Lyrica is exactly) and to top it off a med to treat Alzheimer's. What fun. Obviously I need them, but I still don't have to like it. Thank God that I was able to get on disability though-as much as I hate feeling like a leech (on both the government and hubby) I have no other way to pay for the $1000 worth of meds I get every month. And no, this really isn't a complaint-I have friends who have much worse going on in their lives; this is just me venting my frustration.

And speaking of frustration. Dear hubby is quitting his job. Yes, you heard right; the job that he really, REALLY liked and was very good at. There are certain problems, which could possibly be worked out but at this point it looks like next Friday will be his last day. Somehow I was not surprised-this has been a pattern of his over the years. We just get going along really well and BOOM! It has been two years since the last job ended (2 months after we closed on our house) We went through a painful bankruptcy and are finally back on our feet, and now this. I love the man, I really do; but there are times I could cheerfully strangle him and I have been keeping that urge in check for some time now. Honestly, it wouldn't be so bad-I want him to have a job he's happy with- but we are commited to certain obligations in 2008 that require traveling and time off from work, plus cash of course. And face it-I liked being able to pay the bills, more or less on time.

I am really hoping I can look back on this in a few months time and wonder why I made such a fuss about it...

if nothing else comes of our lives we made a couple of wonderful kids, so I guess it was worth it

Lynne

hot...

humid and miserable! I am just glad I am on Lyrica; as bad as the migs still are I don't know if I could handle them without it

boy am I looking forward to fall. So are the bunnies, they don't like this heat either !

Still alive and kicking...

believe it or not!

I didn't realize how long it's been since I posted anything until I got a comment notice this morning.

btw, thanks Steven. The trampoline is now a dog bed (silly me thinking that my ankles would handle all that weight jumping up & down) I now have a recumbent exercise bike which I love! It sits in a corner of our living room next to the couch; I can ride & watch TV at the same time and since it's right out in plain sight the guilt factor if I don't use it is pretty high. As for diet- well, the critters still eat better than we do. When we can afford good healthy food I get it, if not it's boxed mac & cheese or $1 cheeseburgers from McD's. And yes, I know, bad for us but paying the mortgage and utilities and keeping a roof over our heads has to come first. I don't know how people can afford to pay for those big, pricey houses when we struggle to pay for our little 107 year old home. Of course most of them probably aren't trying to get by with only one income. Well, one and a 1/4 maybe with my disability check

My migs have been about the same. I haven't been to the doc in quite awhile, we've had to cancel & reschedule so many times for various reasons I don't remember for sure the last time I was there. I did find out why Dr Harrison was no longer there...let's just say I found out thru court records. Still, he was the best doc I've had.

well, I have to start a load of laundry then get out to the bunnies before it gets any warmer. They are doing OK in the heat with the fans & frozen water bottles but I will be glad when fall gets here

best  wishes to all...

Bad Monday

wow- a long time since I've written anything.

I just found out that Dr Harrison who I've been seeing is no longer at the clinic. I am truly devastated as we had a very good doctor/patient relationship and he really listened to me. So tomorrow I will see the other doctor...only because hubby is making me go. I wish the clinic would have put out a letter or something saying he was leaving (or gone) I only found out when called to change my appointment and kinda freaked when the receptionist told me.

Oh well, I will be fine...it's all good