Interns, Residents, and other Parasites

As you may or may not know, I attempt to work as a registered nurse in a labor and delivery unit.  I say attempt, because if I make the mistake of picking one of the medical school's patients, I'd be more productive if I just shredded paper and threw it down the elevator shaft all shift.  I've worked at hospitals that were teaching hospitals, where the majority of physicians are in the teaching program, and at least there you know that you'll spend a large part of your day trying to correct misconceptions and attempting to play "patient advocate" every minute of the day.  In a hospital like my current one, the majority of our patients are cared for by real, honest-to-God, thoroughly trained physicians.  The rest unlucky souls are subjected to Human Anatomy Model Syndrome by those trying to learn to be doctors.  Don't get me wrong, some of the students, interns, and residents I work with are superb.  They know their limits, they ask lots of questions, they realize that the staff may all be "just nurses", but we have more experience and we know what we are talking about.  In short, they are well on their way to being great doctors.  And then there's the minority.  Those that walk on the unit and try to tell me how my interpretation of the fetal monitoring strip is wrong, that I MUST respect them because they have an MD near their names, that they are the end-all, be-all of existence.  If ego were all it took, they'd be doing heart transplants on newborns tomorrow.  These are the scariest ones, because they won't take suggestions.  I haven't spent the last 10 years reading magazines and drawing a paycheck for looking cute in scrubs.  These are the type that get excited over tragedy, because it's more experience for them.  I have actually heard, regarding a stillborn, "I wish she'd hurry up and have it, I wanna see it!"  As a nurse, caring for someone who is suffering a tragedy, this is untenable.  Yes, we all like interesting stuff at work, but health care is all about someone's life. 

The ignition source for my current fury is an asshat who didn't like something I said, and got really crappy with me.  "Do we need to call the attending?  Huh?   HUH?  Do you have a problem?"  Yes, junior, it's you.  And, by the way, ALL of the attendings will be hearing about your attitude and behavior.  The attendings know me and trust my judgment, they rely on me to care for their patients.  You, junior, on the other hand, are just a passing face in the crowd, and I'm now making it my mission in life to see that your rotation through our unit is sheer, utter hell. 

As the chief attending puts it (and he's quite right), "A nurse can be a resident's best friend or worst nightmare, and the resident usually decides which way it will go."

Decision's been made, and this month should be fun.