It's 3:45am...

and it's one of those nights.  The Beast is toying with me and having a grand ole time.  Heavy shadows all evening.  Can't sleep.  My right eye is swollen half shut and tearing up a storm, my nose is plugged on the right side and running at the same time, the ache is creeping into my upper teeth and still the hit doesn't come.  Sometimes I swear I'd rather just have the attack come and be done with than go through hours and hours of shadowing.  I've tried heavy doses of caffeine, icepacks, oxygen, nothing is breaking this shadow.  I don't dare waste a trex injection on it.  I have to save those for when I am REALLY hurting.  It stinks having so little medication that you have to pick and choose which attacks to abort and which ones to ride out.  A person should not be forced to endure these attacks when there is medication that will stop the pain within minutes.  I know, I know, I'm having my own little pity party here, but darn it - I'm hurting and there's nothing I can do to stop it.  To heck with this, it's 4:00 in the morning and I have a lot to do tomorrow, I mean today.  The wife's parents are coming for dinner and the grand daughter is spending the night.  If I don't get some sleep I'm going to be worthless.  I'm going to try a shot.  No.  Must save it for a real attack.  But after all these hours, don't I deserve some relief?  That's it.  I'm doing it.  Oh God, there's one less real attack I can abort, please let it work.  Here it comes.  I feel it creeping up the back of my neck, like someone puling a warm blanket over my head.  A few more minutes and I should be free.  I hope.  Yes!  I can feel it draining away.  It's 4:25am.  To bed I go.  Hopefully I can sleep now.  Hopefully...

Comments

[Melissa]

Damn Mike, I'm sorry about the hits. When I'm out of cycle, I tend to block out what it's like, but still feel for those that it seems are neverending. :( Enjoy that beautiful granddaughter tonight! You know how it goes, the hits come, but they also go. So I hope you'll get some good play time in!

hugs,
:)mel

[Deb W]

Mike, I don't think we've talked - I'm a host on about taking a break. But I just wanted to let you know what you go through with the clusters makes me sad. I know what I go through with migraines and I can't imagine. I hope you got some relief.